Thursday 21 May 2009

Diary of an unborn writer #24

I was recently asked:

‘What do you stand for?”, and, “What proof within your daily life demonstrates this?”

and felt moved to answer.

I stand for love

and its penetration of into every corner of my life motivates me to move more and more deeply into it. Accept loves challenges and emerge...

Loving

Peaceful

Nurturing of Truth.

Day by day I pit my wits against my fears, aim to acknowledge and release them. Some days overwhelmed, others shining and inspiring others to do the same. Many days of shining, though, are met with derision and lack of understanding that things could be another way.

That diligence may be sort after but work - the meaningless oppression of masses - need not rule our lives.

I find that the more respect I have for myself, reveals others lack of respect for me and how I kow-towed to it, bowed under and washed over by it, believing it to be a balm or elixir, rather than a strangle hold it has since been shown to be.

I am a slave to my fears - the tiny ones, the petty ones, that scream louder than all the others. The deep low rumbles that I am truly astray stay well out of sight, lost beneath a chattering cloud of starlings.

I yearn for silence but am shit scared of what I see when I am even close. I lose myself in nothing much at all, but in nothing much at all I find the greatest peace.

I am torn between ambition for man and woman to be the greatest they can be and realising this ambition is what tore us in the first place.

I would like to walk in the arms of society, be a brave illuminator of her faults, but I get pulled in, she's showing me again what I need to see and it's a big breath and

pah! under, gasping glad, sometimes horrified at what I had failed to see until this particular moment.

How stupid I have been, how forgiving I must now be and how I must not conceptualise the lesson so to create another stick to beat us more.

These, friends, are deep times and we're being shown everything we need to see. The trauma will not stop until we down tools and take up branches loving arms to cherish each other and clear eyes to help each other out when we're astray.

Let each be a shining light unto their own destiny. In the hope that each can fulfil his and her purpose, there is this prayer:

Throughout all realms of experience

THAT

Essential nature, illuminating existence

Is the Adorable ONE

May ALL beings perceive

Through subtle and meditative intellect

The magnificent brilliance of enlightened awareness.

This is the song sung by Mother Gayatri and is said to be the first prayer humans ever sang. I join my prayer to hers, for each day that any of us have privilege to walk upon this Earth and beyond, to the depths beginingless time, to the rapture of unknowing awakenedness.

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